What Truly Matters?
I spoke with a group mostly comprised of retirees many years ago at IslandWalk at West Villages in Venice, FL. Although it was a very different dynamic group than what I’m used to speaking in front of, it was equally (if not more) rewarding for me.
Following my presentation, one of the attendees asked if we could spend some time chatting in private. Of course, I agreed.
What ensued over the next forty five minutes I could have never imagined. This woman poured her heart out to me and shared that my presentation left an impact on her that will not be forgotten. It turns out that she — although appearing so bright, vibrant, and happy on the surface — had some underlying scars that you would not be able to uncover in looking at or chatting with her.
I share this with you for a few reasons:
1. You never know what people are truly going through.
This woman had shared with me her story of overcoming abuse, abandonment, and loss. Time and again in her life she had been looked over. She never got to know her father (who suffered from severe alcohol misuse), and in fact, she wished for his death. She had gone her whole life believing she wasn’t good enough and that she wasn’t destined for anything in life.
Yet, if you were to pass her on the street you would never know her story. And perhaps if she became quick to anger and acted in a certain way, you may quickly assume that she’s just not a “nice” person; instead of taking the time to consider that perhaps she has something deeper going on that you know nothing about.
Truth is, we all have a story.
Every person you pass on a day-to-day have fears, insecurities, and scars that may not appear on the surface. Instead of assuming you know about people, spend time to get to know people. And in the situations that will not allow for you to further investigate, always remember to be slow to anger and quick to help.
2. Put people first.
It would have been easy when this woman asked me if I would be willing to stay around to chat to simply head out the door.
After all, I was paid to deliver a 60 minute presentation and I had fulfilled that obligation.
However, I earned more in the forty five minutes I spent chatting with that sweet, loving, and incredibly strong woman than I did in the one hour presentation.
I learned the importance of vulnerability, what it means to be strong, how to find strength even when you feel hopeless and helpless. I learned more from this woman than I could've ever taught her, yet she credited me with making a positive difference in her life. She reassured my purpose and my ability to make a significant impact, and quite frankly, inspired me with her incredible story.
When we make things about others and genuinely care about others, it’s amazing the lessons that can be learned and the value we can provide.
I often wonder how many people operate on a transactional basis in business; that is, after they close their deal, sign the contract, or fulfill their obligation, they stop caring and they stop investing their time in the people.
People are what matter and relationships are what is important.
In all that you do, never stop caring for people. Never stop looking for ways to add value to others. Strive to remember that every one has a story and every person you come in contact with does in fact matter. They don't need a fancy title, a nice house, or a lot of money to make a difference. And neither do you. You can start today by putting your own agenda aside and focusing on what truly matters — the people!